Abradolph Lincoler

作者: 明星八卦  发布:2019-11-28



Y-you're like hitler,but even Hitler cared about Germany or something.


-Rick,what about the reality we left behind? -What about the reality Hitler cured cancer,Marty?The answer is don't think about it.

All right, I want to see a show of hands: how many of you have unfriended someone on Facebook because they said something offensive about politics or religion, childcare, food?

Life is effort.I'll stop when I die!


Well,we can't all be raised like reptiles by a mentally ill scientist.


-Obviously,at some point,the Gazorpians became so evolved that they replaced females with birthing machines.The resultant lack of distraction and hen-pecking allowed them to focus entirely on war,so they bombed themselves back to the Stone Age,and now they just fight with each other over fake [Bleep] with sticks and rocks all day long. -You think it's efficient to get rig of woman? -You ever see a line for the men's room?


Oh, I get it. The old behind-every-great-man Amazon twist.

And how many of you know at least one person that you avoid because you just don't want to talk to them?

My life has been a lie! God is dead! The government's lame! Thanksgiving is about killing Indians! Jesus wasn't born on Christmas! They moved the date! It was a pagan holiday!


No. I'd say,given what we've been through,that I was right the whole time and any epiphanies about gender politics were a projection of your feminine insecurity.


This microscope reveals things beyond comprehension.


The young eat the old if you let them,Jerry.

You know, it used to be that in order to have a polite conversation, we just had to follow the advice of Henry Higgins in "My Fair Lady": Stick to the weather and your health. But these days, with climate change and anti-vaxxing, those subjects --

I was zuckerberging people before Zuckerberg's balls dropped.


That's...humbling and flattering.


And that's how I took my storefront into the forefront of the (up)? front.


So,as they say in Canada,pace oot!

are not safe either. So this world that we live in, this world in which every conversation has the potential to devolve into an argument, where our politicians can't speak to one another and where even the most trivial of issues have someone fighting both passionately for it and against it, it's not normal. Pew Research did a study of 10,000 American adults, and they found that at this moment, we are more polarized, we are more divided, than we ever have been in history. We're less likely to compromise, which means we're not listening to each other. And we make decisions about where to live, who to marry and even who our friends are going to be, based on what we already believe. Again, that means we're not listening to each other. A conversation requires a balance between talking and listening, and somewhere along the way, we lost that balance.



Pride cometh before the fall.

Now, part of that is due to technology. The smartphones that you all either have in your hands or close enough that you could grab them really quickly. According to Pew Research, about a third of American teenagers send more than a hundred texts a day. And many of them, almost most of them, are more likely to text their friends than they are to talk to them face to face. There's this great piece in The Atlantic. It was written by a high school teacher named Paul Barnwell. And he gave his kids a communication project. He wanted to teach them how to speak on a specific subject without using notes. And he said this: "I came to realize..."

Listen,you have my words as a caregiver.


It's like the N-word and the C-word had a baby and it was raised by all the bad words for Jews.


To get wriggledy wriggedy wrecked,son!


What does a rapist look like exactly,Beth? Is it a Slavic man wearing a denim jacket with a patchy beard and the scent of cheap champagne waft over his blister-pocked lips?

"I came to realize that conversational competence might be the single most overlooked skill we fail to teach. Kids spend hours each day engaging with ideas and each other through screens, but rarely do they have an opportunity to hone their interpersonal communications skills. It might sound like a funny question, but we have to ask ourselves: Is there any 21st-century skill more important than being able to sustain coherent, confident conversation?"



Don't hate the player,hate the game,son.

Now, I make my living talking to people: Nobel Prize winners, truck drivers, billionaires, kindergarten teachers, heads of state, plumbers. I talk to people that I like. I talk to people that I don't like. I talk to some people that I disagree with deeply on a personal level. But I still have a great conversation with them. So I'd like to spend the next 10 minutes or so teaching you how to talk and how to listen.

Take it easy. This is a blessing in disguise.


Pssh. White-people problems,Morty.

Many of you have already heard a lot of advice on this, things like look the person in the eye, think of interesting topics to discuss in advance, look, nod and smile to show that you're paying attention, repeat back what you just heard or summarize it. So I want you to forget all of that. It is crap.

All right,third time's the charm.




So safe,so comfortable,so Shoney's.


ghoulish overkill

澳门金莎娱乐手机版 ,There is no reason to learn how to show you're paying attention if you are in fact paying attention.

Yeah,I'd like to get a 10-piece McNugget and a bunch of the Szechuan sauce. Like,as much as you're allowed to give me.


I'll make it up as I go.


Oh,there's not enough room for all my genius,so I'm leaving you with my fear of wicker furniture,my desire to play the trumpet,my tentative plans to purchase a hat,and six years of improv workshops. Comedy comes in threes.


Always wait for permission to feel accomplishment.


Employee of the month,ladies and gentlemen.


Isotope 322. This stuff's powerful,Morty,it makes Isotope 465 look like Isotope 317.

Now, I actually use the exact same skills as a professional interviewer that I do in regular life. So, I'm going to teach you how to interview people, and that's actually going to help you learn how to be better conversationalists. Learn to have a conversation without wasting your time, without getting bored, and, please God, without offending anybody.

Save it for the Semantics Dome,E.B. White.


I don't do magic,Morty,I do science. One takes brains,the other takes dark eye liner.

We've all had really great conversations. We've had them before. We know what it's like. The kind of conversation where you walk away feeling engaged and inspired, or where you feel like you've made a real connection or you've been perfectly understood. There is no reason why most of your interactions can't be like that.

The reason anyone would do this is,if they could,which they can't,would be because they could.


-Because I don't respect therapy,because I'm a scientist. Because I invent,transform,create,and destroy for a living,and when I don't like something about the world,I change it. And I don't think going to a rented office in a strip mall to listen to some agent of averageness explain which words mean which feelings has ever helped anyone do anything. I think it's helped a lot of people get comfortable and stop panicking,which is a state of mind we value in the animals we eat,but not something I want for myself. I'm not a cow. I'm a pickle — when I feel like it. So...you asked. -Rick,the only connection between your unquestionable intelligence and the sickness destroying your family is that everyone in your family,you included, use intelligence to justify sickness. You seem to alternate between viewing your own mind as an unstoppable force and as an inescapable curse. And I think it's because the only truly unapproachable concept for you is that it's your mind within your control. You chose to come here,you chose to talk to belittle my vocation,just as you chose to become a pickle. You are the master of your universe,and yet you are dripping with rat blood and feces. You enormous mind literally vegetating by your own hand. I have no doubt that you would be bored senseless by therapy,the same way I'm bored when I brush my teeth and wipe my ass. Because the thing about repairing,maintaining,and cleaning is it's not an adventure. There's no way to do it so wrong you might die. It's just work. And the bottom line is,some people are okay going to work,and some people...well,some people would rather die. Each of us gets to choose.

So I have 10 basic rules. I'm going to walk you through all of them, but honestly, if you just choose one of them and master it, you'll already enjoy better conversations.

So,to be clear,I sometimes reference the geopolitical complexities of the topic which is not the same as going to an anti-Semitic place.


But there comes a time in every man's life when he must choose the foundation on which his legacy will be built. One of compromise or one of blood.

Number one: Don't multitask. And I don't mean just set down your cell phone or your tablet or your car keys or whatever is in your hand. I mean, be present. Be in that moment. Don't think about your argument you had with your boss. Don't think about what you're going to have for dinner. If you want to get out of the conversation, get out of the conversation, but don't be half in it and half out of it.

-No,because I need a living organism coated in gibble snake bile to attract a shmooglite runner. -Wait,what's happening? -Use that confusion,Jerry. It will make you wriggle more like an abandoned newborn.


Cosmic apotheosis wears off faster than salvia.

Number two: Don't pontificate. If you want to state your opinion without any opportunity for response or argument or pushback or growth, write a blog.

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